© 2002 G.M. Lousignont, Ph.D.
I’ve been detecting for gold now a little longer than five years,
I’ve overcome all the obstacles and conquered all my fears
I’ve started at daybreak and worked far into the nights,
I know there’s a big ol’ nugget somewhere, and someday I’ll get it in my sights
I’ve hunted every gully and wash until by battery gave up and went dead,
No problem mate, I just grabbed a fresh one and down the track I would head
Got the best money could buy, only paid $3000 for the detector I use,
Gonna’ cost me more than that when my wife sues me for divorce and I lose
Now I ain’t asking for much Lord, just a nugget of gold I can dig out of the ground for free,
If I don’t find a piece of gold soon, your gonna’ see that $3000 detector wrapped around a Joshua Tree
Now my wife is a good woman, she’s always been loving, caring, patient and kind,
But she told me yesterday if I come back next time without a nugget I’d have to swing that detector with it hangin’ out me behind
Dear God I try not to bother you with the little things, but there’s just one question I need to ask
What’s the best way to bungie a metal detector when it’s stickin’ out your ass?